When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?  Six years ago?  Hey… do they even brush their teeth where you come from?  I heard you all still shit in holes over there.  Is that true?  Say what?  I know your people are experts at fighting in the dirt and picking up trash like scum magnets.  Hey… I work in the city and employ lots of you- so, I’m not blind. As a matter of fact, some of my best janitors have looked like you.  Come over here- not too close, though- we like to observe arbitrary personal space in this culture.

Ok. Ok. I’ll put you to work for me, but… for fuck’s sake… clean yourself up.  Have some self respect and control.  We* can facilitate your orientation by a brisk firehosing and fogging with this pre-mixed, military grade solution.


Now… take those stinking clothes off.


If you work out for our organization, great.  I’m fond of do-ers.  If not… meh… no matter.  In the long run, you’re worth more to us/me dead than alive, so, let’s get on with it!  Shall we?  You’ve got lots of work to do in order to fulfill my plans.

Know that I have extensive plans for you.

I envision long weeks of grueling work for a pity pat.  Oh yes, filthy urchin… there’s back breaking work aplenty!  Be grateful… there are 50 more in line behind you who would eagerly snap your neck for the same chance at this platinum opportunity.


But, first, have a seat. I’ll give you some dope.

Then, I’ll give you some sutures.

I’ll ground you into our tableau of diminishing futures.





*When I say ‘we’ I mean me.

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