Meet Henny Youngstown

 

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He’s the up and comer, the one liner diamond, that’s rolling through dry cleaners, junk yards, impound lots, casinos and strip clubs along the eastern seaboard.  Henny Youngstown’s jokes are so funny (!) they’ll give you an aneurysm.  His jokes are so on point (?) you’ll need a kevlar vest. Only a soundproof wall 2000 miles long could stop the laughter.  Wake up to a delightfully dour new age of humor and storytelling.  Nobody can turn tragedy into a belly laugh buffet and serve it up ice cold like Henny Youngstown.  Henny mines his own pathetic Northern Ohio origins, Boston Marathoners, the Las Vegas shooter, 911, the Parkland and Sandy Hook ‘incidents’ for 50 karat comedy gold fillings you can plug your sourpuss with 500 times over.

He’s there FOR and BECAUSE of you.

This act is the monkey’s carbuncle!

He turns social disparity into stand up hilarity in the flick of an ever present cigar.  With his trademark line, ‘Put a fence around em’ to his scathing, spot on impersonations of pedovores Nancy Pelosi and Mitch McConnell, he’ll have you in tears of recognition and self-loathing by intermission.  Let’s put it this way, if he wrings something that looks like humor from the putrefacting corpse of his hometown, he can weave brilliant burlesque out of ANYTHING.  He can make Ellen DeGeneres funny simply by farting her name… which… spoiler… HE DOES!  Masterfully, I might add.  You wouldn’t think that would be a thing… but that’s a lot of consonants issuing from a *mainly* vowel oriented hole.  We can only hope that his claim is true and that Dr. Phil McGraw’s audience gains one full IQ point for every time Henny farts his name and a fan hears it.  Let me tell you, pardner, that’s even more consonants— which means MORE TALENT— from our rising Midwestern star.  And yes… he includes the prefix ‘DOCTOR’: he’s no charlatan!  He’s Straight Outta Warren.

Sure, you have your preconceived notions.  Let me tell you, friend, Henny Youngstown’s here to underline and circle those with a big, chisel-tipped, indelible marker.  He’s no pedovore, no high court human trafficker– he merely profits off of them.  Better yet, he gets you to laugh your guts out over them, literally.  Or he gets you to chuck your half-empty beer at him.  Either way, crowds are flocking to bowling alleys along the Ohio and Mahoning Rivers to see Trumbull County’s Most Crustworthy Jewel.  His breath-taking one-man-show has plenty of ‘screwing the pooch’ jokes because… well… that’s one of the activities folks tend to favor up in The Real Ytown.

He can also bowl a 300.

Get your tickets now, before this act breaks the Rubbermaid ceiling!  Be the kind of hardcore fan who can legitimately claim you followed Henny when he was still being assaulted for his Ground Zero Responder set outside the laundromat in Corning where he was headlining.  

If your taste is all in your mouth… and why wouldn’t it be?… heh heh… then you’ll be one of the first to show you ‘get it’. 

This is your grandaddy’s comedy microwaved and beefed up with some corn and cough syrups.  It’s your great grandpappy’s vaudeville taken to CERN and placed in a collider with Rupert Murdoch’s shadow self if Rupert Murdoch were a semi-retarded millennial and then those results where fed into a randomized computer program to be printed in 3d.  It’s THAT funny!  This is a new level of browned grayking comedy.  This is the Sizzurp of Stand Up.  The fabled pie and douche of the hoi polloi.  Tickets on sale now!  Better get in on this sub-basement deal before this bitch blows up and he’s charging Beyonce prices at The Palace.  Or before he’s assassinated.  Whichever comes first.  Point is, after every show you’ll feel like you’ve been beaten with a plumber’s wrench but in a good way.  Like if Super Mario were the one wielding the wrench.  That kind of thing.  Ham-fisted, foot-in-the-grave, laff till you barff type stuff.  I might even be so bold as to say that Youngstown’s schtick would be more like the fentanyl of modern slapstick.  And when the bullets or fists ain’t flyin the chortles certainly are! 

Booooyah… watchya butt!  Getcha tickets, ya mugganutts!  

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