When I Grow Up

When I grow up, I want a nose like a potato with gin blossoms aglow. When I’m a big boy, I want knee replacements; I’m on the obsolescence plan and it shows.

They call it adulting.

I’m only auditing.

Sweet sixteen come and go, plans are being made for me. I have plans of my own. Sweet sixteen come and gone; shout, twitch and bleed for me while I scratch, moan and yawn.

Get ready for spiritual contortions, late term abortions, licking the icing from the beater, confronting a whore and a cheater.

When I can drive, I’ll run in constricting circles for my life… the loops of poops long dead. When I can brawl and call myself a hard worn patriot from the scars and bars of my prefix and title: prick, trick and thief- spell out my grief in the blood of my dying will.

When I’m 22, I’ll sniff glue. I’ll incoherently breed in a year or two.

When I’m 35 I’ll habitually drink and drive. The talk shows are calling this ‘failure to thrive’.

When I reach seven foot tall I’ll find someone to dash me to dots and I’ll roll my eternal sadness into a ball of knots. I’ll spend my youth jamming it into a time capsule set to detonate on my sixtieth annual.

They call it responsibility.

Misery in annuities.

When I’m a man, I’ll break my hands knocking that which can’t be rend out the way and into shape. As a grown Kentucky Kernel, I’ll never be savvy as any rando ape.

When I grow up, I’ll be permenantly bent under a electromagnetic sky that never lifts. I’ll arrange my scrambled life in shifts, shorter and shorter the bullshit collecting around me in drifts.

Where’s that shadow I call my soul?

At the bottom of a very tidy bowl.

When I’m sixty four, I’ll be a broken whore seeping into the floor begging for a just tad bit more. How’s that? It’s the tainted, tattered glory what your granddaddy bled the Potomac for. Dubye Tea Eff is the way of funny men, pointless statelessmen and the spiritually bereft. Join the ranks, I’ve been told- there’s safety there in the numbers: one zed one zed one. He’ll get his, she’s having hers and I already got me some. This is what it has meant to be a groan ass man.

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